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The Creative Haven - February 2007

Heart Talks

February 13th 2007 04:49
Hello Everybody,

In honor of Valentine’s Day I thought I would share with you about what Jack Canfield calls “The Heart Talk.” This is the perfect exercise to do with a spouse, business partners, or family. You can use The Heart Talk to clear the air so you can focus on what you truly want in your life and be successful. First you need a “heart” or something that you can pass around to the others involved in your heart talk. Something soft is preferable so that the person can squeeze it and be soothed as the person talks. There are agreements for a Heart Talk that must be adhered to for it to feel safe and to create a deep level of communication.


Guidelines:

A Heart Talk can be used with any size group from 2-10 people. First explain the guidelines to those involved. Have them sit in a circle and explain how a structured communication style can deepen the level of communication. Remember no interrupting or answering while the person with the heart speaks. Your goal is to listen and to understand. When it is your time to speak, do so from the heart, stating how you feel, but not trying to be right. It takes practice at just letting someone else talk and waiting your turn. Again, try not to think about your rebuttal, but rather stating how you feel. This is a very effective exercise and can drastically improve your relationships.

1) Only the person holding the heart talks.
2) You don’t judge or criticize what anyone else has said.
3) You pass the object to the left after your turn.
4) You talk about how you feel.
5) You can “pass” if you have nothing to say.
6) You keep the information confidential.
7) You don’t leave the talk until it is declared complete.
8) When the “heart” has gone around twice without anything being said the talk is over.



You can expect:

1) Enhanced listening skills
2) Constructive expression of feelings.
3) Improved conflict resolution skills.
4) Improved abilities to let go of resentments and old issues.
5) Development of mutual respect and understanding.
6) Greater sense of connection, unity, and bonding.

In Success and Gratitude,

George

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Increasing Self-Esteem

February 2nd 2007 02:07
One of the ways that we can build up our self-esteem is to keep a "Victory Log" or list of the successes in our lives. This is important to do for a couple of different reasons. Many times we don’t give ourselves credit for all the accomplishments that we have had in our lives. We can be so focused on our next success that we don’t stop to evaluate all that we may have accomplished already.

Another reason to keep a victory log is to help us remember when things are not going so well. You could have a notepad or journal close to your desk where you write the date and the accomplishment down. You then have a handy list that can give you a boost the next time you have to close a big deal or have to call somebody for a business proposition or whatever the case may be. The Victory Log will act as a “boost” to your self-esteem so as to help you create the life you want.

It can also be very powerful to have symbols of our achievements hanging near where we work. If you work at a desk, you might have hanging on the wall your degrees, certificates of achievements, or anything that is a symbol of your success. This does not have to be just education or professional achievement. It can also be pictures of your spouse or children. It could be pictures of your fiancé or girlfriend or whatever. Success is defined by you and this includes family and our relationships.

Another way to build our self esteem is to take a sheet of paper and just make a list of your accomplishments for your life. You can do this by dividing your life up into thirds or so and listing your accomplishments from ages: 0-20, 20-40, and 40-60, or something to that nature. It doesn’t have to be exact, but you get the idea. Now the important thing is to list ALL your major accomplishments. This could be everything from learning to ride a bike, to learning to drive, to winning a spelling bee, to graduating from high school, college, or achieving your Master’s or Ph.D. Anything that you accomplished that made you feel good about yourself. It doesn’t have to be the stereotypical definition of success. You decide what the definition of success is for you!

In Success and Gratitude,
George
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